I so wanted to finish the title . . . with Jack Handy, but I’m an adult, so I didn’t; (OG SNL watchers will understand). With only 6 days left until our daughter is scheduled to arrive, you start thinking about lots of major things. While I have to admit I have a constant “to-do list” of silly tasks in my head at all times, I also keep thinking about the past, relationships, my husband, my son, my life before my dudes, my childhood, you know, just little stuff like that :)

Joey just called me a few minutes ago just to say hi, which was so nice because the new jobby has kept him super busy, preoccupied, and semi-stressed out, (don’t get me wrong, he loves it, it’s just a huge, new challenge). He called just as I was thinking about how much I miss him. Yes, we live in the same place, sleep in the same bed, and eat dinner together most nights, but busy work schedules and a very needy almost 2 year old have made alone time almost non-existent. As a child of divorce, (yes, that term still applies to me and who I am and why I think the way I do, no blame, just facts friends), I don’t worry whether or not I can be a decent mother to 2 kids, (I’ve had a baby before, I know now that I can do it!!), but I worry about relationships. I worry, or should I say, truly care about keeping my marriage and relationship with my husband strong. I’ve seen so many people lose touch with their partner after kids come into play and I don’t want that to ever be us. I know everything changes after kids, but I want to always bust my ass to make sure my marriage stays strong. And yes I mean BUST MY ASS, because any married person who is true and honest will tell you that marriage is work.

Having been married now for 7+ years and together for 10+ years, I’ve learned a few lessons that I need to always strive to keep working on. These seemingly simple things I think have helped us through tough times, (*please be nice! I’m not saying by any means that I am some sort of “marriage guru,” I just know my man and where we’ve come from and what we’ve been through, and these are things that for us, are super important, every couple and every person is SO different).

1. Respect. (Your partner always deserves your respect and they deserve to know for a fact that you respect them; especially men ladies! Years ago our pastor in Vegas said that one of the most important things a man needs to feel is respect from his wife; and I have found that to be so true. This also applies to fighting I think. Every couple fights or argues from time to time, this is just a fact of life, but fighting fair, in a respectful way, will keep your marriage in tact at the end of the day. Never say something that you can’t take back!)

2. Trust. (Joey and I have been fortunate enough to be in the type of relationship where jealousy is a non-issue. Luckily no cheating or funny business for us. I don’t call him 40x a day to see where he is or what he’s doing, and he is the same with me. Out til 5am with girlfriends in Vegas? Just call to say when I’m on my way home so he doesn’t worry. Now I have to be honest, I have poked fun at hot girls being in his presence, mainly because I’m sometimes lame and insecure, and mostly because my sweet husband is so oblivious to women hitting on him, but I trust that man to the nth degree. He also smirks every time he lies, so I’m all good :) He still claims that if I didn’t “throw myself” at him, we’d never have gotten together in the 1st place. How adorable is he?)

3. Faith. (The only real similarity in the way we grew up was how we were both raised in the church. This is something that has always been important and crucial to our marriage. My husband’s trust and faith in God is one of the biggest reasons why I love him so much and why I always knew he would be an amazing father. We are by no means perfect, sinless people, but we’re always trying to do our best. Especially recently, we’ve been watching sermons from our church in Vegas online because we still haven’t found our “home church” here, and it has moved and placed a calm on our currently “up in the air” life. New baby, new job, maternity leave, $, potential needing to move, the list goes on and on as to why we could worry, and I have to admit I still have to really work on not freaking out, but with faith, it’s all a little easier to manage.)

4. Food. (Don’t laugh. What’s the old saying, “The surest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I believe that 100%! Since I do all the cooking in our house, save for a turkey sandwich or box of mac and cheese here and there, I know how to win my husband over. I know his favorites. I know what to make when he wants to cut back. I know what he wants when he wants to splurge. I know what to make to make him feel comforted. And I do get a secret thrill, (that I guess by writing it on here makes it less than secret), when he brags about my cooking or baking. It means he is proud of me, or at least of my cooking :) And he truly enjoys it!)

5. Contact. (I won’t go into this one too much, as to not gross you out or over share, but obviously with my current physical state being taken into consideration, we value contact :) A touch, a hug, a kiss, a hmmm hmmm, all of these things help show your partner that you not only love them, but that they make you hot! Which I think is so important in a marriage! Granted my bod is a little scary right now, but to me and allegedly to my husband, (he’s tried to convince me he thinks I’m hot pregnant), there is no one that I’d rather spend hmmm hmmm time with than him. It mends fights. It makes babies. It gives you closeness. Contact is so important!)

6. Humor. (I don’t know about you, but I love someone that can make me laugh. I will never forget when Joey and I first started dating. We were at the OC Swap Meet, walking back to our car. He asked me what I wanted to do later and I said that I wanted to do something fun and spontaneous that night. I was carrying a lemonade at the time. He then proceeded to slap it out of my hand, making it spill all over the ground. He then said, “Like that?” This is definitely a “you had to be there” type of story, but it struck me as so hilarious! I almost peed my pants laughing so hard! I knew he was a keeper. He makes me laugh all the time. And I drive him crazy sometimes, because I LOVE watching him laugh, (especially at movies or tv shows). Our shared interest in comedy, laughing, and fun has made us not only partners, but friends.)

While there are many more little things that I’ve learned, (like not sweating the small stuff, asking for help instead of assuming your husband is a mind reader, always bringing home a “sweet treat” even if he says he doesn’t want one, not having a conniption if the trash doesn’t get taken out the second you ask/demand it to be, etc . . . ), these big things have been the guiding force to keeping us happy, in love, and for the most part, functional. Our marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s ours :)

I love this family that we have made with all of my heart and I will protect it, fight for it, and nurture it with every fiber of my being.  I don’t know how this turned into a love letter to my husband and to our marriage, (tangent tangent tangent), but I don’t care who knows it! I love my husband! Who can think about buying a new shower curtain and Desitin when there are thoughts like this in my head?

6 days . . . and then maybe I’ll stop being so crazy. Oh wait, then I’ll have a newborn and be majorly sleep deprived . . . hmmmm . . . sorry friends! Looks like the crazy is here to stay for now :)

 

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